misanthropy

I was supposed to start writing my research essay today. But instead! I started to learn German, so spent the whole day doing that. How fucked up is this, I can't stop starting new projects. And I know exactly why. But I convince myself(will keep doing so) that It's all bacano and productive - It makes me smart each day. And who really cares about your sappy side, except your mommy. Il mio ragazzo is upset with me now because I didn't give him the type of assurance that he needs now and then. But today I just do not want to do it, today I don't want to make people happy. It's cold, my room is cold, my feet are cold, and I'm lifeless and unloving but why do I care. Actually I care about the fact that I don't care. I'm scared of the fact that I don't care. I may even feel sorry that I don't care. And I am indeed sorry that I don't care. I may even wish that I cared. But I just don't care. Sniff me and tell me if I still smell like one of your kind. Please say yes and push me off the edge.

This is the video I took when I was in Germany.. this right here is called romantic realism.