She reduced herself to vanishing point - Laing

"She avoided everything whereby she could be specifically
defined as an actual person engaged in specific tasks with others.
She had tried to act in such a way that her acts had not any real
consequences, and so by that token could hardly be real acts at
all. Instead of using action as we normally do to achieve real ends
and thus to become more and more defined in and through our
actions as the specific persons we are, she attempted to reduce
herself to vanishing-point by never doing anything specific, never
seeming to be in any particular place at any particular time, with
any particular person, doing any particular thing. She was always,
as we all are, at a particular place at a particular time, but she
attempted to avoid the implications of this by always being abstracted,
being 'somewhere else as it were'. She acted as though
it was possible not 'to put herself into' her actions. The effort to
dissociate herself from her actions comprised everything she did,
the work she seemed to be doing, the friendships she seemed to
form, and all her gestures and expressions. By these means she
sought to become nobody. Her position, therefore, was very
similar to Peter's. Both these patients had come to feel more and
more convinced that it was a mere pretence for them to be somebody
and that the only honest course they could take was to become
nobody, since that was all that they could feel themselves
'really' to be. What this process of self-annihilation presented to
the observing clinician was nothing else than the dementing process
of schizophrenia simplex."



"If you had actually screwed me it would have wrecked everything. It
would have convinced me that you were only interested in pleasure with
my animal body and that you didn't really care about the part that was
a person. It would have meant that you were using me like a woman
when I really wasn't one and needed a lot of help to grow into one. It
would have meant you could only see my body and couldn't see the real
me which was still a little girl. The real me would have been up on the
ceiling watching you do things with my body. You would have seemed
content to let the real me die. When you feed a girl, you make her feel
that both her body and her self are wanted. This helps her get joined
together. When you screw her she can feel that her body is separate and
dead. People can screw dead bodies, but they never feed them."