Peter's sin - Laing

"Onan's sin in spilling his seed on the ground was that thereby he
wasted his productivity and creativity. Peter's guilt, as he later
expressed it, was not simply that he masturbated and had sadistic
phantasies but that he did not have the courage to do with others
what he imagined himself in phantasy to be doing with them; and
when he tried and to some extent succeeded in curbing, if not
repressing, his phantasies, his guilt became not only that he had
these phantasies but that he was repressing them. When he set out
to be nothing, his guilt was not only that he had no right to do all
the things that an ordinary person can do, but that he had not the
courage to do these things over and against and despite his conscience
which sought to tell him that everything he did or could do
in this life among other people was wrong. His guilt was in endorsing
by his own decision this feeling that he had no right to life, and
in denying himself access to the possibilities of this life."